"I'm Feeling Hopeless About Dating"

With hookup culture replacing the dating scene in many places, trying to find a deep, long-lasting relationship can sometimes feel like a hopeless endeavor. Lyssssp speaks for a lot of people when she asks Reddit, "Why is it always about sex? ALWAYS!"
The 26-year-old describes meeting guy after guy who just wants casual sex, even when they seem super compatible on an emotional level—and even when they say they're looking for more than a hookup. "After the fact, they will admit that they don't want a relationship—but ask (AND SOMETIMES BEG) that we continue to hook up," she wrote. "On top of all this, when I actually do engage, the sex I've been having feels really object-like—like there is zero intimacy and like it only benefits the male party."Is she doing something to bring this on herself, or is this just the way things are these days? Here's what Reddit thought. "Dating sucks. I am [a 28-year-old woman], and when I was about your age, I gave up on dating because I had the same experiences as you. ... So here's what I propose: It's time for a break from dating. About your age, I took a solid year off dating. I was tired of it always sucking, so I just took a year off. No Tinder, no OKC, no meeting in bars, none of it. And I took the time to focus on me. ... I found that a local zoo facility had a volunteer position and I love animals, so I applied and got accepted. ... When I had a new hobby in my life, it was time for me to work on myself and find my own independent happiness. ... About a year later I decided to try dating again. I quickly found somebody I dated for 14 months. ... Some eight to nine months after my last relationship ended, I ended up meeting a (sort of) co-worker of mine (sort of) through Tinder. It's finally been the best relationship of my life and has worked out beautifully because he adds to my happiness instead of creates it by being in my life." —FuckRelationshipsMod"I feel the dating 'game' is shifting more and more to hookup dates. Lots of dates I've been on are just poor excuses for one-night stands, and I believe a lot of people think this is the norm now. (I sound like an old-timer). So it is not you. My advice: No sex on the first three to five dates. This filters out the ones who are just doing it to get laid." —Tackbracka"Girl, I feel you 100 percent. This is why I consciously do not engage in anything sexual for a while. It does drive away a lot of guys, but I feel like those are just the ones I wouldn't want." —tracefog"Have a friend look at who you are agreeing to go on dates with because if it is happening all the time, you might not have the best filter. I dated lots of guys through Tinder and never had an issue with this." —Lifebox02"What are your hobbies, interests? Do you enjoy comics and video games, or would you rather a night of clubbing or a day trip to a museum? Ask yourself these things and go there looking to meet someone." —Haschel232"I'm a guy and feel the exact same way about the women I am dating. It sure is tough out there." —organicthoughts