"I Don't Want Kids, and It's Ruining My Relationships"

When you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, the question of whether you want kids can make or break a relationship. That's why dontwantkidsnope always makes sure her boyfriends know she definitely doesn't plan to become a mom—ever. The problem? Even the ones who have said they shared her plans at first have backed out later, and she's ended up wasting her time with people who weren't really compatible with her.
"I've had four serious boyfriends (on number five now)," she wrote. "When I got together with all of them, they didn't want kids. When we broke up, they did. They either lied to me or changed their mind during the course of the relationship."She has now been dating someone new for two years, and since he's younger than her, she's afraid the same thing will happen and wants to prevent it. Here's the advice other Redditors gave her:"I'm sorry that I don't have better news, but you can't keep people from changing their minds or lying to you. ... The only good news I have is that you will get older, and that alone will weed out the guys who think they'd be able to change your mind." —futurecrazycatlady"Separate the exes who lied from the exes who changed their minds. They don't belong in the same category. What hints, if any, did you miss from the liars? Were they really such good liars? Or did you miss it because you didn't want to see it? The mind-changers: what hints, if any, did you miss or notice too late that they were actually fencesitters all along? ... I would also stop seeing it as a 'waste.' The first two years of any relationship are always just the beginning of anything long-term. ... You're going to have to go through a few breakups until you finally find the right match for you. If it wasn't kids, it could easily have been something else, as perfect as some of these guys might have appeared in the beginning and middle." —threedeemelodie"It might help if you date older... most of the guys I know who Don't Want Kids and are very sure about it are in their mid 30s and up." —pandasaurusrex "It'll get easier as you age, but I'd start stating you are child-free upfront. Weed them out before they catch feelings." —streetnameporno"Unfortunately, to some degree, this is just how it's going to be for people like us until society starts to loosen its grip on the 'all women are destined to be mothers / everyone wants kids' idea. In the meantime, though, I might suggest looking into dating services and communities specifically for child-free people." —pdxemf "See if they're willing to get snipped. Any guy who's snipped means business." —twelveperdaay